bitch

sometimes, she is a real bitch.. she acts as if what has to be done is just impossible.. or she will be mulling over the thing for looooooonnggg time to render the effect useless.. she just fucks my happiness bcos of her attitude which is very sickening to say the least.. i despise her a lot bcos of it, and fear how abusive i might become after we start living together.. i just fail to understand her at these moments.. i dun understand at all as to her mindset which has to think all the negative things b4 doin a positive thing.. a thing as simple as wishin papa on b'day or talkin to his brother.. his own brother.. ohh.. she will then start cryin when i say somethin.. and yeah, i admit that i am caustic enuf in tht case.. but i also can't help.. she just knows sometimes as to how to sap the hapiness out of some good moments and turn it into a useless pondering, resulting in a fight/ tussle/ tension..

Impatience

we all have become so impatience.. we dun want to be questioned.. we dun want to someone riding on our back.. we want freedom.. that's the youth, bursting on seams with oodles of anger.. they consider a lot of questions as an invasion of their privacy.. they want to be left alone.. let it be anyone, whether it's one's parents or girlfriends or even other(better or worse) half.. plllzzz dun intrude is the concern.. the people on the other side thinks that they are just askin questions as they care about the person and want to know more abt him.. but they end up troublin the person.. it has happened with me.. i have seen it happenin this to my roommate today and thus it triggered the thought of this post.. kyun chahiye, kab chahiye, kahaan chahiye, kya itna zaroori hai, iske bina kaam nahin chal sakta, abhi tak kaise chalta tha... and the list goes on.. hope tht both parties become more understandable.. poochne waale sawaal kam poochein aur jawaab dene waalein usko shaant dimaag se dein..

2 years

in last week of december i was confronted with the questions from my better half as to when do we tie the knot.. i had pondered abt it a lot.. even talked to dips abt it when she was here.. i realised tht it wud take atleast 2 years for me to do the same.. waise toh both of us dun want to stay apart as we have known each other now for 4 and a half years and nothin is hidden from each other... we know each other's thought process, feelings.. still we do fight and that's a very good thing i believe [:)].. anyways back to my topic of 2 years.. my funda is that i want to have enuf corpus of money before i marry to lead a happy life.. i dun feel good when i have to say no to her for something...or evev can't committ that i will get her some jewellry when she asks that whether i will gift it to her or not.. abhi, the earnings are not much to have a great savings.. even i am not yet stable in my job.. it's a function of both my role which has not yet found a sync with me and the organization which doesn't pay at market rates... thus i hope tht by the end of year 2008, i might be able to make the right shift internally or externally.. in addition, living costs in mumbai are a nightmare.. rental costs can wipe out ur salary if u want to stay in south bombay i.e. near to your office to avoid the train journey.. thus i want that both of us work and save enuf to help us in sustaining a good life... i hope she understands me.. however, there wud be pressure from her parents side as well as mine... a reason which cud play major factor wud be her age as her parents wud think it from that angle and i think tht she also might have this concern in her mind.. i just want to be stable in life before committing anythin.. tht is all i have to say.. i rest my case..

Conversation b/w Me nd guddan

On Feb 17, 2008 2:35 AM, I wrote:

u dun worry.. i can understand.. will talk to mom.. its not that they dun trust u.. may be they wud have felt betrayal from my side.. thus they wud like to be overcautious for u.. howvever, u live and enjoy ur life but dun give them opportunities to put a finger on ur mistakes.. we may call it generation gap but yes we have to accept it.. they still can't fathom many things.. lifestyle has changed at a very fast pace in past 7-8 years.. many ppl still think that a boy and a girl can only be boyfriend and girlfriend and not just good friends.. but we know that its not so nowadays.. anyways.. u dun worry.. study well.. dun spoil that part.. it's like this, if u spoil this then all blame wud come on ur goin out nd enjoyin.. however, if u do well in tht part then it wud cover everythin.. accha wat abt ur CA registration for inter... u done with it or still not gone to ghaziabad..

On Feb 16, 2008 5:26 PM, guddan wrote:

i no bhaiya.......yesterday it ws my fault.....i m really sorry for tht...bt u cn understnd na........we were like 15 of friens together.....n everybdy ws like cm na nthin ll happen..ur dad wnt sy nythin n i jst wnt wid thm.... cudnt say no........n i dnt mind ur yellin at me bt tum thoda toh saath de sakta hain na mera, bhaiya..........mom n dad to dnt trust me only......yest. mom cald me n strtd shoutin on me n dint listen nythin.....i no it ws my fault bt mom aisa aisa baat bol deti hain ki i really feel bad as if hum kya kar diya......dey never understand me n never trust me.......mom is tellin to cm bck in march fr holidays.....i tld tht i wnt be able to study at home isi baat pe she startd scoldin ki ya ya dnt cm bck u don wnt to com bck liv in delhi only.......wht u do in delhi........whole lyf u studied here n nw u r nt able to study here......ab how to make her understand u tell............chalo nyways sorry for whtever happened ......wnt happen again..........byeee

On 2/15/08, I wrote to guddan:

hi.. sorry for shouting at u.. i know its not correct to do that.. however got pissed off from your attitude towards things.. i dun mind ur roamin abt or watchin n number of movies.. however one thing to respect is time... u had all the time in world to reach hostel in time.. however that urge to break the rules always empower everythin else.. probably just for the fun sake.. i understand that it's hard to say No when u r in a group with friends and everyone else wants u to stay back for that extra half an hour.. tht lure is simply irresistible and we think that there is nothin wrong in it since we are not doin anythin wrong.. actually thr is nothin wrong abt it.. we can have all the fun in life and yes we have the right to it.. but since we have some timeline so we better keep that in mind and work accordingly..don't u think so.. may be u will be thinking that I am prophesising and dun follow tht.. yup, might have happened sometimes.. however, i try to respect it as much as possible.. i learned to respect during my Birla days.. believe me, i dun give a damn as to how much u roam or whereever u go or with whom u go.. u r intelligent and independent enuf to take care of that.. hope u understand me and take care.. dun worry abt papa.. his line of thinkin is different.. he might be right from his perspective.. just be good to him and dun give him things to think abt..