this phase of my life

this phase of my life started around 1 and half years back when i moved to mumbai after getting my first job.. initial phases were filled with boredom and dun remember how weekends were passed for first 4-5 months.. after that i moved from kandivali to mahalaxmi... there mostly we used to hang out as oongli was there.. later in that period i started reading some books.. music, movies and books were companions at that time apart from hanging out with SRites at SPjain or playing poker at rupam's place.. once our lease ended we shifted to pari's place for a month.. after that i moved into PG which i am currenlty living at khar around 20th may.. left icici bank in mid july.. then all alone in this house at khar books started takin most of my free times.. movies followed second.. music was there as always but stopped as my laptop stopped one day suddenly and i could not longer charge my i-pod's.. so it's more and more of books as of now.. lets see how it turns inthe new year.. i hope new year turns a fitness year for me.. will try to shed some kilos this coming year..

Deaths and Marriages - the confluence points

recently my mamaji died of a heart attack in surat.. i visited there with mummy and papa when they came from azm and again alone for the 12th day puja rites.. thr i happen to meet all my maternal uncles, aunties, sisters, brothers etc, whom i haven't met for years.. i realised that now people meet when there are big things happening around... and 2 big things which stick out are marriages and death.. these 2 things symbolise unification.. one shows unification of two souls whereas other leads to unification with god..

The art of putting a question..

aha.. i sometimes feel very proud of myself when i make this very composed statement full of trickery which i can only understand at that point of time.. or atleast i think that i only understand.. yest while driving back from blore office to airport for taking a flight to mum, i had to ask my boss whether he would give me leave for Parul's wedding next week.. since the IM had to be completed in next 2 days it was almost a big No No.. however, i thought lets give it a try.. so i said "Sir, there is a wedding in Delhi on Friday.. do you think I will be able to make it?" .... he paused, thought and then said that he doesn't have prob unless the IM is completed.. yipee.. so i think i have got away with it.. however the true victory will be known only on thursday afternoon.. i just hope i make it..

## uhh uhh.. i din't made it.. the trip had to be cancelled :( ..

Bandstand dates

atta boy!!! few boys wud get the chance of taking 4 different girls to Bandstand in a span of 3 weeks.. but so is my luck.. met payal and somika on consecutive days 2 weeks back, last week it was shrestha and tomorrow it will be sana.. hehe.. wat a luck.. my better half there in blore is not able to come to mumbai.. i just she was here as its such a lovely weather in rain..

SMS between me and +1

today was another day after the whole last week drama for my shifting to SIBG.. jha ji (+1) was not thr in BKC when i went thr.. so met raghu(1) and he in his immaculate sharpness tossed the ball in my court.. he suggested i call jha ji up as the shiftin was made contigent upon the finalization of structure of +1.. i called him and it was busy.. so much true for +1's mobile.. anyways then i send him the following SMS:

me to +1 : Sir, iam still waiting for ur transfer mail.. Please reply as to when would u do that.. regards,

+1 to me : have discussed with pavan regarding ur movement... will talk to sanjeev and satya also..

me to +1: ok, thanks.. will meet u tmrw at BKC and try to close it..

+ to me : i am in baroda tmrw..
+1 to me: pls appreciate that thr are others also in the team and i have a target to run too.. in mumbai we have only 3 SM's..

me to +1: I appreciate the fact of constraints on ur side.. however, i also have some professional targets and i believe if organization and my goals are aligned then only i can perform to the best of my ability.. and i believe that u can channelise ur other resources with ur leadership skills to not only achieve but overachieve ur targets.. a single person leaving won't make a big dent in ur performance.. so would request u to help me in moving ahead with ur support..



i dunno wat will be the effect of this gyaan bhara sms on him.. hope it happens to be in my favor.. and he shud have understood tht how stubborn i can be.. i dun take a pleasure in being so clear headed.. cos ppl take it for my stubbornness.. lets see wat happens.. atleast ghar ka panga aaj khatam ho gaya..

Managerial Effectiveness Training by Seema Dasgupta

We had a training from Monday to Wednesday on Managerial effectiveness taken by Ma'm Seema Dasgupta.. she was a nice lady.. three things were gr8.. got to know a lot of people.. best thing was rotating people after every exercise thus enabling each of us to know most of us [:)] .. in addition, first time i learnt something from a HR kinda sessions.. first thing which struck was during the game in which though I liked the idea of Kirti Singh Rawat of keeping the shaving mirror on top of the list due to his logic.. however, i gave it up and he din't spoke too... however, i realised that i could have put a fight for him if the logic sounded full proof to me.. i thus learnt that no matter what happens, if in future i come across anything which sounds logical to me I would support that.. doesn't matter how many people wud be opposing.. nor it wud matter if i was initially not liking the idea.. but sound logic wud be criteria irrespective of personal biases..

second day i was struck hard by the fact that i wasn't able to write 4 goals of my life... it was hard to put them into words and more importantly writing them in sucha way so that they are SMART goals.. (Simple, Measurable, Achievable, Related, Time bound).. i know now what i have to do.. i will have to actively work towards the goals to achieve them and put them in words..

third day i was again dumbstruck when during the game of jigsaw puzzles our team was struggling the most... though my square was completed very early.. however, joe was struggling and i could see that.. what i shud have done is to pass on my complete square to him and make the square myself so that team's targets gets done.. collaboration of highest extent was required and i missed in doin tht.. however, it was a learnin expereince and i will follow tht.. thanks ma'm...

a terror(ible) idea .. a dangerous thought

ohh, i just dun want to write this post as it's a dreaded idea.. however, there was a compellin me forcing me to just do it.. i was reading Age of truebulence by Alan greenspan half an hour back and as struck when he said that WWI took the world decades back and sapped it of its serenity.. also WWII created the great depression.. now if i could have read or met some terrorsists then i would have known what they exactly want by creating events like Twin tower destruction.. do they want to create fear and panic, do they want to destroy the financial markets or rather both.. I think it's both and if I am correct then i believe that there is no better a time for them to strike a terrorist blow now.. US is on the brink of recession with all the subprime crisis and defaults happenin leadin to bustin of big banks like Bear stearns.. if terrorists strike a blow now, they can create a recession in major parts of world.. am sure even Sensex would go from the levels of 15,600 today to less sub 10,000 levels.. so am fearing that if this idea has come in their mind and if they are plannin anythin of this sort then i better get out of the market before the final blow.. too much pessimism u think.. nay.. read THE BLACK SWAN by Nassim Nicholas Taleb and you would wonder if this might happen soon.. the probability fundaes and the bell curve would go for a toss.. isn't it possible.. think over it.. though still i know i won't be exiting the market anytime soon but i would check if i can buy some nifty put options..

numbers numbers numbers

today evening no. 3 at ICICI bank called up and asked for filling the Emerging India awards.. and number was 300.. why 300??? ohh.. just beacuse we want to show numbers.. just beacuse everyone else is showing numbers.. thus that numbers make sense.. nooooooo.. not at all.. still dikhana hai.. his point is that everyone is doin that so pls do it.. my point was that its senseless.. still trying to drive the point across.. its total bullshit..

ICICI got the limca book of rewards mein naam last year for number of forms.. may be they r trying for guiness book.. but isn't it a farce.. i get very discomfortable and wonder whether the top bosses are aware of it or not.. if they are aware then am afraid that there is serious problem in the whole attitude.. and if they are not then they need to know and they shud act to clean the system of parasites like number 3..

bitch

sometimes, she is a real bitch.. she acts as if what has to be done is just impossible.. or she will be mulling over the thing for looooooonnggg time to render the effect useless.. she just fucks my happiness bcos of her attitude which is very sickening to say the least.. i despise her a lot bcos of it, and fear how abusive i might become after we start living together.. i just fail to understand her at these moments.. i dun understand at all as to her mindset which has to think all the negative things b4 doin a positive thing.. a thing as simple as wishin papa on b'day or talkin to his brother.. his own brother.. ohh.. she will then start cryin when i say somethin.. and yeah, i admit that i am caustic enuf in tht case.. but i also can't help.. she just knows sometimes as to how to sap the hapiness out of some good moments and turn it into a useless pondering, resulting in a fight/ tussle/ tension..

Impatience

we all have become so impatience.. we dun want to be questioned.. we dun want to someone riding on our back.. we want freedom.. that's the youth, bursting on seams with oodles of anger.. they consider a lot of questions as an invasion of their privacy.. they want to be left alone.. let it be anyone, whether it's one's parents or girlfriends or even other(better or worse) half.. plllzzz dun intrude is the concern.. the people on the other side thinks that they are just askin questions as they care about the person and want to know more abt him.. but they end up troublin the person.. it has happened with me.. i have seen it happenin this to my roommate today and thus it triggered the thought of this post.. kyun chahiye, kab chahiye, kahaan chahiye, kya itna zaroori hai, iske bina kaam nahin chal sakta, abhi tak kaise chalta tha... and the list goes on.. hope tht both parties become more understandable.. poochne waale sawaal kam poochein aur jawaab dene waalein usko shaant dimaag se dein..

2 years

in last week of december i was confronted with the questions from my better half as to when do we tie the knot.. i had pondered abt it a lot.. even talked to dips abt it when she was here.. i realised tht it wud take atleast 2 years for me to do the same.. waise toh both of us dun want to stay apart as we have known each other now for 4 and a half years and nothin is hidden from each other... we know each other's thought process, feelings.. still we do fight and that's a very good thing i believe [:)].. anyways back to my topic of 2 years.. my funda is that i want to have enuf corpus of money before i marry to lead a happy life.. i dun feel good when i have to say no to her for something...or evev can't committ that i will get her some jewellry when she asks that whether i will gift it to her or not.. abhi, the earnings are not much to have a great savings.. even i am not yet stable in my job.. it's a function of both my role which has not yet found a sync with me and the organization which doesn't pay at market rates... thus i hope tht by the end of year 2008, i might be able to make the right shift internally or externally.. in addition, living costs in mumbai are a nightmare.. rental costs can wipe out ur salary if u want to stay in south bombay i.e. near to your office to avoid the train journey.. thus i want that both of us work and save enuf to help us in sustaining a good life... i hope she understands me.. however, there wud be pressure from her parents side as well as mine... a reason which cud play major factor wud be her age as her parents wud think it from that angle and i think tht she also might have this concern in her mind.. i just want to be stable in life before committing anythin.. tht is all i have to say.. i rest my case..

Conversation b/w Me nd guddan

On Feb 17, 2008 2:35 AM, I wrote:

u dun worry.. i can understand.. will talk to mom.. its not that they dun trust u.. may be they wud have felt betrayal from my side.. thus they wud like to be overcautious for u.. howvever, u live and enjoy ur life but dun give them opportunities to put a finger on ur mistakes.. we may call it generation gap but yes we have to accept it.. they still can't fathom many things.. lifestyle has changed at a very fast pace in past 7-8 years.. many ppl still think that a boy and a girl can only be boyfriend and girlfriend and not just good friends.. but we know that its not so nowadays.. anyways.. u dun worry.. study well.. dun spoil that part.. it's like this, if u spoil this then all blame wud come on ur goin out nd enjoyin.. however, if u do well in tht part then it wud cover everythin.. accha wat abt ur CA registration for inter... u done with it or still not gone to ghaziabad..

On Feb 16, 2008 5:26 PM, guddan wrote:

i no bhaiya.......yesterday it ws my fault.....i m really sorry for tht...bt u cn understnd na........we were like 15 of friens together.....n everybdy ws like cm na nthin ll happen..ur dad wnt sy nythin n i jst wnt wid thm.... cudnt say no........n i dnt mind ur yellin at me bt tum thoda toh saath de sakta hain na mera, bhaiya..........mom n dad to dnt trust me only......yest. mom cald me n strtd shoutin on me n dint listen nythin.....i no it ws my fault bt mom aisa aisa baat bol deti hain ki i really feel bad as if hum kya kar diya......dey never understand me n never trust me.......mom is tellin to cm bck in march fr holidays.....i tld tht i wnt be able to study at home isi baat pe she startd scoldin ki ya ya dnt cm bck u don wnt to com bck liv in delhi only.......wht u do in delhi........whole lyf u studied here n nw u r nt able to study here......ab how to make her understand u tell............chalo nyways sorry for whtever happened ......wnt happen again..........byeee

On 2/15/08, I wrote to guddan:

hi.. sorry for shouting at u.. i know its not correct to do that.. however got pissed off from your attitude towards things.. i dun mind ur roamin abt or watchin n number of movies.. however one thing to respect is time... u had all the time in world to reach hostel in time.. however that urge to break the rules always empower everythin else.. probably just for the fun sake.. i understand that it's hard to say No when u r in a group with friends and everyone else wants u to stay back for that extra half an hour.. tht lure is simply irresistible and we think that there is nothin wrong in it since we are not doin anythin wrong.. actually thr is nothin wrong abt it.. we can have all the fun in life and yes we have the right to it.. but since we have some timeline so we better keep that in mind and work accordingly..don't u think so.. may be u will be thinking that I am prophesising and dun follow tht.. yup, might have happened sometimes.. however, i try to respect it as much as possible.. i learned to respect during my Birla days.. believe me, i dun give a damn as to how much u roam or whereever u go or with whom u go.. u r intelligent and independent enuf to take care of that.. hope u understand me and take care.. dun worry abt papa.. his line of thinkin is different.. he might be right from his perspective.. just be good to him and dun give him things to think abt..

Mental Endurance for Marathon

Dear Sir,

I am pleased to inform that I successfully completed the Half Marathon (21.097 Kms.) in the Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon, 2008. I managed to complete in 2 hr 55 mins, just in time for the 3 hour time frame. I had to run, jog, walk and at a point of time even drag myself towards the finishing line.

I did not practiced at all for this run. Now, one may say that one should be fully prepared/ practiced/ trained for such things. However, the reason for my running was not to test my physical stamina but my mental endurance. I had decided months back that I will run the half marathon. I knew that if i would practice for some days then it will become easy as my stamina would grow. However, I had decided that I would like to see that what does it take to complete such a run.

I realised that for running a Marathon, mind supports you 60-65%, and your body supports the rest 35%. I was very strong on the mind part and thus decided to go ahead with it.

Here, i would like to draw parallel to the work we do. In getting a case successfully sanctioned and disbursed, what we need is this mental endurance. It is in no ways less than a Marathon. Starting from sourcing the client to satisfying the internal customers like Credit, Risk, Control groups, Sanctioning authority, Secretarial, CMOG, back to client and then ARG, all the way what we need to display is, our mental endurance.

Thus all I would like to say to my colleagues is to get up and start running. :)

Warm Regards,

The Ear-phone era..

travellin local trains of mumbai.. walkin in the bylanes of suburban andheri.. jogging in the race-course.. all of these have one thing in common.. u can see people of all ages with music ringing in their ears through mobile phones, i-pod's etc... everyone has those earphones plugged trying to shut the outside world.. all the new mobile phones are being launched as the Music edition.. it seems that the ear-phone era has arrived..

wud it lead to requiring of more ear surgeons or demand of more hearing devices when this generation grows older..

so wat does Principal Mutual Funds have to say for it.. they might develop another subtle yet beautiful ad on this phenomenon.. i really like their ads of glof balls or diet cola cans.. nice thought process has gone in making the ads..

Is Big Bath Happening in the US Financial Markets??

As the Third quarter results came for various Financial companies last week we heard more and more of write-offs.. these billion dollar write-offs coming from the Citi's and the Merill Lynch of the world are as large as they can be.. this all makes me think whether the new CEO's like Vikram Pandit and his counterparts in other "big" firms are trying to go for the "Big bath"..

Firms which face bad earnings for a particular year manipulate their income statements in a way to show greater than have been losses in that year so as to exhibit higher than would be increase in earnings in the next. This practice called ‘a big bath’ is probably being employed whenever the earnings fall below the annual minimum targets; however we expect to discover greater employment of this tactic in scenarios where the occurrence of an ‘improbable event’ can be presented to shareholders as a justifiable cause for fall in earnings.

what better opportunity can Mr. Pandit have to wash off all the dirty loans from the Balance sheet of Citi and blaming it all as "Subprime mess" ..then when next year the percentage increase in earnings go up phenomenally, he would be touted as the turnaround boy..

I have cited big bath as one behaviour.. however, Kevin J murphy and Jerold L Zimmerman in their paper titled " Financial Performace surrounding CEO turnover" dated September, 1992 lists more causes of financial turmoil surrounding the CEO's....an excerpt from their paper citing the reasons for same..

"First, outgoing CEOs approaching a known retirement or departure date make accounting or
investment decisions to increase earnings (and earnings-based compensation) in their final
years, at the expense of future earnings (the “horizon problem”). Second, outgoing CEOs in
poorly performing firms threatened by termination make accounting or investment decisions in
an attempt to cover up the firm’s deteriorating economic health (the “cover-up”). Third,
incoming CEOs take a ‘bath;’ i.e., they boost future earnings at the expense of transition-year
earnings by writing off unwanted operations and unprofitable divisions (the “big bath”)."

I just hope that this comes to be true and the turnaround happens.. cos if Citi goes down then some of my good friends will loose jobs and it will be a turmoil for the financial markets as well.. no one would be spared.. am hoping all goes well.. Amen.

wat a match!!!

whew.. this is wat we call an epic.. the tennis match between world no. 1 Roger federer and J Tipsarevic was the most fascinating tennis match i have ever seen.. Federer was pushed to the wall by the underdog.. marvellous volleys, base line points, aces to the T all packed in one match.. the depth of the Tipsarevic game was just too good to see.. even Federer would want that Tipsarevic should not be out of tournament.. but alas, there are no draws in there.. however, the calmness and serenity which enveloped Federer was reflection of his maturity.. i truly admire him for it.. when Tipsarevic won a good point he would look at Federer and exert his uphandednes, but federer remains as calm as summer sea.. when Federer wins a rally he expresses his joy and force but in his ownself.. this is what separates good from great.. best of luck.. may the best win !